Friday, August 31, 2007


i love this fucking manhattan bag.
it fucking costs 210 bucks.
anyway, i met jon in town in the evening.
sat at coffee bean again.
then i went over ue square to look for vincent.
had moist cake and ice lemon tea.
and then i went over bugis to fetch darling.
half way there, i wanted to puke so badly.
i walked damn fucking fast to bugis outlet and puked.
felt so fucking unwell.
darling sent me home earlier on.
thank you dar. and the donuts too. (:
baby, im so lucky to have known you.
you brought so much fun into my life.
you mean so much to me.
with those random kisses you gave me.
and those love we made.
it means a lot to me.

Jelly tots

Thursday, August 30, 2007

went town just to have lunch and headed home.
darling and i slept once we got home.
no idea why i was so tired.
and then i woke up around seven.
darling didn't want to wake up.
and so, i kicked her off the bed.
she shouted to mummy and said i kicked her.
how mean. but mummy said she deserved it.
hahahaha. cos she's supposed to take me for dinner.
we had prata for dinner.
paper prata with honey and chocolate.
damn fucking sweet.
wanted to kill the ah nei mann.
then mummy called to ask us meet her at changi village.
for supper. we went and ate a lot again.
im quite depressed with my weight.
i've been eating and munching and binging and swallowing.
i really need to lose weight.
i've put on a lot of weight.
trust me, i'll lose weight for you to see.

baby, i miss your face.
i miss your kisses.
i miss you a lot.
come to me.
i want you badly.

Jelly tots

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

had photo taking session.
i was so demanding to those assistants.
i wanted to sit another side to take a better view.
so she had no choice but to switch my seat.
hahaha.
and guess what, an said this to me.
"hey ssa, thanks to you i passed my pp. i didn't study at all. thanks ah"
and i was like "oh yeah.thank me then. you ought to".
and so i felt kinda irritated.
how can she still thank me?
anyway, my clique came out with something new.
it goes like this,
"yvvy: chicken mcnugget.
suhadah: plus fries and coke?
ssa: upsize for you?
jess: having here or take away?
feny: member or non member?"
it all started out with yvvy scolding people "chicken mcnugget".
its really damn funny. and dumb.
okays. then i met darling to go over her place.
she said something that made me laughed like fuck.
"tmr im gonna pray to god, to give me some common sense".
hahaha. cos her paper needs common sense.
and she thinks she doesn't have any.

baby, come a lil closer.
give a lil kisses.
and make a lil love.

Jelly tots

Monday, August 27, 2007

72/100 for pp.
kinda upset about it.
i didn't expect myself to get B.
its just damn fuck mann.
an A would be better. hahahaha.
isn't it obvious? fuck me please.
okay no. not fuck me as in fuck.
just fuck me like fuck me.
god damn alyssa. fucking brain's corrupted.
been playing DS the whole day.
this is so not me. i think im kinda sick.
as in, i am sick.
down with sore throat.
and damn. pimple in my eye !!
okay no. i think its a pimple.
but there isn't anything.
its just painful. OUCHHH.
ease the pain for me. anyone?

baby, i love it when you call.
i love it when you call.
i love it when you call.
but you never call at all.

Jelly tots

Friday, August 24, 2007

you're way too beautiful girl.
that's why it'll never work.
you'll have me suicidal.
when you say it's over.

baby, lets chill at the park,
in the dark, with a bench.
with hands roaming.
and kisses everywhere.

Jelly tots

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

im one of the four who got A for cdn.
and the best thing is that eighteen flunk the paper.
all the four As were taken by my clique.
hahaha.
miss lee, how can you be surprised that feny and i got A?
we got As for all our papers in all modules.
oh. i stayed over darling's.
we started studying from four thirty pm.
and we stopped at twelve am.
that's like eight hours plus plus mann.
including one hour plus plus break.
for fagging and binging.
wanted to go for supper.
but we were so lazy.
so darling cooked for me.
thank you darling. ilu. (:
we wanted to take a nap until three thirty.
and then coninue stuyding.
i did wake up.
in fact, i woke up every hour to wake darling up.
BUT SHE DIDN'T WAKE UP !!
i pushed her, kicked her, flicked her butt, slapped her.
but she didn't want to wake up.
i was like "wth. i wanna study. but ure not waking up"
so i went back to sleep.
the next thing i know, it was alr eight thirty.
dont even have time to study.
i had to rush to meet yvvy at nine thirty.
and we had pp test. damn it.
an sat in front of me.
and she copied all my mcqs and some saq.
i hate her la. i wanted to sabo her so much.
i studied and she's the one taking the marks.
fuck her upside down la.
but she's my classmate. so i didn't sabo her.
after the paper, i skipped bcm.
went to meet darling to go city hall.
i went to touch up my tattoo.(quite painful okays)
and then we went sfh.
had lunch there and we talked a lot to vincent.
after lunch, accompanied darling to cgh for check up.
then headed home.
im going mac for breakfast !!
i've been craving for hotcakes with sausage.
darling, HOTCAKES WITH SAUSAGE !!!

baby, i miss you. i miss you.
it seems like you've gone missing.
can you see how much i need you right now?

Jelly tots

Monday, August 13, 2007

i wanna stay by your side for the longest time.
i wanna take care of you each time you're ill.
i wanna be the last you'll ever kiss.
i wanna be the last you'll ever hug.
i wanna be the last you'll ever cuddle to.
i wanna be the last you'll ever look at.
i wanna be the last you'll ever think of.
i wanna be the last you'll love.
i wanna be the last girl in your life.

but
if there's come day you dont want me.
just let me know.
i'll slowly turn away.
i'll slowly fade away.
i wouldnt let you see me tear.
i wouldnt let you see me cry.
i wouldnt let you see my pain.
i'll just let you go.
this i promise you.

daph`

Jelly tots

Sunday, August 12, 2007

been home real late the past few days.
and i've been sick since yesterday.
i knocked off and i puked.
i even held a plastic bag in my hand when i was in the train.
so it was like,
"ssa: i really need to puke now.
daph: huh? ok ok. i have plastic bag.
ssa: i really really need to puke.
daph: dont puke yet. reach pasir ris then puke"
the whole time i was saying that.
and everybody's looking at me and my plastic bag.
hoping they wouldn't see some waterfall from my mouth.
and i didn't want to go to work just now.
but nobody was home when i woke up.
so i had to go to work.
i wasn't even feeling better.
and im still feeling sick.
should i go to the doctor?
or should i just let it be?
im thinking, if i were to continue being sick,
I CAN LOSE WEIGHT !!
but its really very uncomfortable.
and i need some care.

BABY, come and take care of me.
i need your love and
i want you to take care of me.

Jelly tots

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

i realised i haven't been going to school for two weeks.
it seems like a holiday to me.
and so i got ready for work.
guess what?!
i fell down in the kitchen please.
its like fucking painful. i was like "not again. fuck mann"
everybody was like trying to pull me up.
and asking if im okay and stuff.
i was too busy till i can't even give my butt a massage.
i knocked off around eleven.
darling bought me supper. thanks (:
we sat down somewhere and fagged a lil.
and then we bumped into yl.
so we headed to mrt station together.

baby, i miss you a lot.
i wanna see you.
i wanna sleep next to you.
come and cuddle next to me.

Jelly tots

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

i said i'll go to school.
and yes. i did. not.
hahaha. was really too tired to wake up.
but i had to pull myself up to accompany darling for ultra scan.
and we went eatzi for lunch.
damn it. keith wasn't working.
i seriously didn't want to see arfar's face.
so we headed home.
and i took cat nap until i had to meet darling again.
we went bugis and had dinner at seafood harvest.
we've been jack's place-ing a lot these days.
oh and yes. we went haji lane and i bought a tee. (:

baby, i'll be by your side.
you know i'll take your hand.
i'll be everything that you need.
and i'll give you everything that you want.
i'll wait for you, if you ever want me to.
i'll stop giving you kisses, if you ever want me to.
i'll fuck off, if you ever want me to.
i just want you to know im willing to wait for anything.
just for you.

Jelly tots

Monday, August 6, 2007

MONDAY:
went kovan for breakfast at hk cafe.
brother came along.
and i was supposed to treat them.
but ended up i paid using my mum's credit card.
after breakfast, headed to hospital to see my grandpa.
we weren't even there for ten mins and he chased us home.
after that, came home to bathe and change.
and then headed to town.
we had hip diners for dinner.
darling bought so many things and i didn't get a single thing.
i tried so many tees but ended up it didn't fit me at all.
damn upset.
we fagged a lil and headed home.
and i had ice cream from the shop outside lido.
okay. tired. am going to school tmr.
that's for sure.(provided i can wake up)
off to bed.

SUNDAY:
knocked off at four. so we went great world.
Vincent was at jack's so we went there.
and we had fifty percent off.
the venison i had was very nice. but a lil too cooked.
after that, i went over to UE Square.
and guess what.
helen mama was there.
so the whole time i was trying to hide myself.
i didn't want her to see me.
but in the end i called her and she was surprised to see me.
so blah blah blah.
after darling knocked off, i went over her place.
and her cousin pris was there.
we were talking and then suddenly she asked about me.
and so she knows im gay and she thinks its okays.
she prayed for me and i nearly cried !
omg. damn touching. i was like,
"dont cry alyssa. dont be stupid and cry".
then darling and i cabbed over to my place.
we watched dvd till three am.
and she slept with my mum.

baby, if i am lost for a day,
try and find me.
if i dont come back, then i wont look behind.
all of the things that i thought was so easy,
just got harder and harder each day.
if i can, i'll wait for you every night.
and wash you up before we sleep next to each other.
and i'll hug you to sleep.
and give you lots of random kisses.
just want you to know i need you in my life.
and i want you badly.

Jelly tots

Sunday, August 5, 2007

i met jon and hanizah in town around five pm.
and i hate jon for always being late.
you sucker. hahaha.
met hanizah and she was bitch fitting.
i think its cos i said something mean.
im sorry. but yeah.
ure having mense too. so stop being so moody.
we had dinner at sakae.
and guess what.
i spent sixty two bucks there.
and then we headed to dempsey road.
had ben and jerry's.
i love the damn place.
i swear im going there again.
baby, im gonna take you there ah.
hmm. after slacking for a while,
we took a cab to esplanade for baybeats.
lots of minahs and mats.
oh god. kill all of them please.
they're such turn off.
god damn it. they're seriously damn yikes.
so after that, we went to starbucks.
well, the 'we' refers to only hanizah and me.
slacked and fagged a lil.
then we walked to convention centre to take bus.
this is the first time i reached home earlier than her.
damn happy. hahaha.
cos my bus came before hers.
anyhow, i've been drinking lots of yakult.
it tastes great and im loving it more.
just like how i love my baby. (:

baby, i really wanna hold you.
and i really wanna kiss you.
ure my everything and i wanna be your everything.
i wanna be the world to you.
i love you and i do love you.
cos you give me the skin tingling sensation.
and the fizzy feelings whenever i see you.
i hope you do know its true.

Jelly tots

Saturday, August 4, 2007

im fucking having my period.
i've been attitude-ing everybody.
im sorry if you can't stand it.
i dont know how not to bitch fit.
i dont know how not to be attitude.
i dont know how to give in.
and i dont know how to pamper.
i am not everything you think i am.
i dont like it when you bitch fit.
i dont like it when you show attitude.
i dont like it when you expect me to give in.
(you know i dont give in.)
im like this to everybody.
so dont expect so much from me.
anyway,
i bought a few things.
i feel damn broke now.
someone please donate to alyssa's charity.
i spent about 180 bucks in less than four hours mann.
damn proud of myself.
cos practically half of it goes to food. (:
and i assume i've put on two kgs more.
that's very upsetting.
i actually planned to lose two kgs in one week.
but now, i got to lose four kgs.
oh god.
let me pray for the sake of praying.
let alyssa be aneroxic.
she'll be extremely happy. hees.
alright. back to the topic 'broke'.
i even went supper.
ate fucking much when i wasn't even hungry.
OHH. and yes.
my current fantasy is my yakult drink.
it always tastes great.
and its so small and cute.
i can just hold it everywhere i go.
its just so cute when its in my hand.
hahahaha.

baby, let me hug you tight in my arms.
let me hold you close to my chest.
let me take you everywhere i go.
let me take care of you.
and let me love you till the end of time.

Jelly tots

Thursday, August 2, 2007

slept for only four hours and i had to drag myself to school.
i didnt want to go school cos my hair sucked.
but I CUT MY HAIR ALR !!!
and im super happy about it.
even mom said i look better now.
oh god. i love daniel for getting my hair back in place.
so after that, i came home to bathe and changed.
headed to town to meet hanizah.
then went starbucks-ing.
jon and ben caught up with us.
and we went coffee bean-ing.
then maleeq came over for a short while.
we practically spent the whole time in coffee houses.
quite sick of it alr. but i still love starbucks. (:

baby, wont you stay here with me?
till the stars burns out some day?
im reassuring you now.
that my love for you will last as long as you want me to.
ilu.

Jelly tots

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

go or not to go?
will school be fun tmr?
will lessons be boring?
should i have another hair cut?
should i shave it instead?
hmm. not the whole head.
just half of my head.
please tell me all the answers for those questions.
i need some clues. and im so clueless now.
i fucking need to get rid of this bloody hair.
it's superdupermajorultra UUUUGGGGLLLLYYYY.
anyway, darling and i went to eastpoint to look for handri.
he's so cute and stuff.
i just couldn't believe he signed a two years contract.
okays. back to my hair.
im totally broke now.
im waiting for my pay DESPERATELY.
note that i said desperately.
people out there,
alyssa is begging for some money here.
she desperately needs to shave her hair.
can you people sponsor her some pennies?

baby, im serious about you.
as much as im serious about getting my hair shaved.
i'll take you over the rainbow and err.
get my hair shaved? haha.
i just love you.

Jelly tots