Saturday, September 29, 2007

who's gonna comfort me?
even though the blames are on you,
i'll take those blames from you.
and you can put the blame on me.
i'll talk care of everything.

Jelly tots

Friday, September 28, 2007

why am i afraid of the dark?
why am i afraid of walking by the pool in the dark?
why am i afraid of sounds made by uncertainty?
if we were to trace down our fears to the root,
we will have to come face to face with the spectre of death.
yes, im afraid of death.
seriously, who wouldn't be afraid of death?
whenever i watch critical rescue on scv,
i'll panic for them.
i woke up early so i switched on the television.
and then i watched critical rescue.
somewhere in the states, the plane crashed into the icy cold water.
with the snow plates all above the water.
everybody in the plane died except five survived.
i watched and i kept telling myself not to fear.
i wonder what would it be like if im one of the victim.
there's no way i can imagine that.
like i've said, im afraid of death.

Jelly tots

Thursday, September 27, 2007

i didn't know my blog could inspire someone so much.
but im glad it did.
and thanks for the blessing you gave.
its really very much appreciated.
alright. so i went sentosa to sun tan.
the tan's just nice.
and when we were about to leave sentosa,
it started to rain.
so isn't it nice that we had our tan and we left before it rains?

Jelly tots

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

the way you walk, the way you move, the way you talk,
the way you stare, the way you look, your style, your hair,
the way you smile, the way you smell, it drives me wild.
and i can't go on without you.

Jelly tots

Thursday, September 20, 2007

ohh. thought i'll be able to blog before twelve.
too late alr mann.
anyway, my uncle came back from L.A.
and i heard him talking damn louding in the morning.
fucking six plus in the morning okay.
and then i heard hom talking again around ten plus.
he asked my mom this.
"so late alr, alyssa still dont want to wake up ahh?"
and my mom went "she worked last night. and reached home quite late"
then the next thing is,
he came knocking on my door telling me he bought breakfast for me.
and i couldn't get back to sleep anymore.
so, i got ready and went to msq.
colleagues and i went to gwc for steak.
wahlau. i tell you. its damn nice okays.
i ate so much till i nearly puke the banana split out.
i even had two glasses of orange plus mango juice.
damn. im supposed to be dieting, aint i?
and i had everything for FREE.
after eating, i went town to meet hanizah.
supposed to meet her at six.
but i reached at six thirty.
and she blamed me for being late.
anyway, i've always been the one waiting.
so i dont care. ((:
then jon and ben came along.
had long john and subway cookies.
met ben's cousin after eating.
they bought beer and asked me to drink.
i was like "cannot. i dont want."
i know once i drink, i'll be fucking unwell.
so after hanging out for a while,
i went to bugis to meet darling.
and so, im gonna go over to darling's tmr.
shall drink over at her place instead.
im craving for lots of cookies and donuts.
hahaha.

baby, your smile turns me on.
your touch makes me want you more.

Jelly tots

Thursday, September 13, 2007

didn't sleep at all the whole night.
my elder brother paid two thousand bucks to bail jeryan out.
and guess what. my brother punched him right in his face.
and there's a bruise now.
sometimes i think he deserves it.
but mom shows sympathy.
she said he needs attention which i think so too.
okays. now i pity him.
he's going to court soon.
high chance of getting into prison.
my mom's really really worried.
she spent the whole morning cum afternoon calling all my lawyers' relative.
only today, i realised i've so many relatives who are lawyers.
anyhow, the pervious lawyer fee was 12 000 bucks.
plus his 10 000 bucks bail.
came up to 22 000 bucks.
and this time, im sure it'll cost more.
probably up to 30 000 bucks?
wah. its really a lot of money.
and if only i've 1/5 of that money.
anyway, i had my last paper today.
went over to grandma's for a short while.
then headed home to bathe and headed to bugis.
met darling at seafood harvest.
sheryl's so cute. missed her a lot.
darling and i then headed to town.
after dinner and walking for a short while,
i saw mel's girlfriend with this girl.
immediately i called mel.
our convo went like this :
"me: is your girlfriend working today?
mel: she's working. why?
me: are you sure? she's not working la.
mel: i think she's having break now or something. why la?
me: i saw her with another girl.
mel: is it this very tan girl? she's my friend la.
me: are you sure? i think your gf is cheating on you.
mel: no. we fought so my friend is consoling her.
me: but they're so close. so fake la your gf.
mel: dont worry la. blah blah blah"
i dont remember alr. hahahas.
so darling and i went to drink at heeren, the balcony.
we had housepour vodka with seven up and ginger ale.
darling turned red after drinking half and that's really terrible.
and then we went to orange julius for ice cream.
i had strawberry cheese quake.
the guy made a medium one for me though i ordered small.
it was so much that i only managed to finish half.
took a few pics.


alright. i shall not continue. its too long.


Jelly tots

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

pp paper was super easy.
except for some mcqs.
i think i'll be able to get a high A.
which is what i've been expecting.
and im in a deep shit now.
my lovely lil brother got into trouble.
he got caught for stealing a handphone.
and so he's on his way to the headquarter.
i wonder what will happen this time.
my mom is sooooooo depressed right now.
we kept asking each other what to say if grandpa were to ask.
i seriously have no clue.
my elder brother is super duper major angry.
i've this feeling he's gonna beat up my younger brother again.
worse than before, i bet.
so my elder brother is asking bingcong what will happen.
since he's a policeman. though he doesn't look like one
im still clueless.
what am i supposed to tell grandpa?
what will happen to brother if grandpa knows?
what will grandpa do?
what will mom have to do?
what will mom have to say if grandpa scolds her?
what will, what will and what will?
tell me what to do.

Jelly tots

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

im hoping for an A for cdn and pp.
i've started studying pp and my cpu is quite full alr.
shall not kill anymore brain cells.
im left with dont know how many hours.
to finish up my pp.
three more units to go.
alyssa, you better do well and get into poly.
or else you'll be crying like some fucking baby.

baby, i miss you so much.
and i want you by my side.
so we could cuddle to sleep.
everything seems to be changing.
but my love for you remains the way you want it.

Jelly tots

Sunday, September 9, 2007

tmr's my cdn paper.
im fucking freaked out.
i even dreamt of myself in the exam hall.
and i dont know how to do a single mcq question.
this is fucking annoying.
and im going to the airport to see my uncle off.
hopefully i'll have time to finish up my studying.
i'll cry again if i dont finish studying.
OHH.
my dieting is getting nowhere.
i had curry and a cup of grapes for lunch.
and i think i just put on five pounds.
kill me please.
my anut's coming over with dinner.
and i told her not to buy my share.
she knows im on diet and i dont care.
i dont want to take dinner.
anyway, i'm gonna stop smoking.
i feel so sick after smoking these days.
think im too stressed with the damn studying.
and i refuse to consume much solids.
only liquid will do.

Jelly tots

Friday, September 7, 2007

guess what. i slept through the day.
woke up at one plus in the afternoon.
then i had lunch.
two sesame ball.
and then i studied a lil and i took a nap again.
from five thirty to seven thirty.
i was fucking bored.
and i had a cup of yogurt and two buns for dinner.
i wasn't even hungry then my grandpa made the buns for me.
grandpa scolded my brother again.
"grandpa: why you didn't buy dinner for jiejie?
brother: huh. i dont know alyssa's at home.
grandpa: you should call and ask what she wants to eat.
brother: i didn't know whatt."
i think my grandpa's too concern.
he kept scolding my brother for nothing.
he doesn't scold me at all.
kept buying things for me.
kept asking me to eat this and that.
kept making me put on weight.
i dont want. i wanna lose weight.
and the best part is.
im going to meet darling for supper at mac soon.
i dont think i wanna take in anymore food.
im determined to lose weight.

Jelly tots


im so upset with myself.
i told myself im supposed to be losing weight.
but in the end i ate so much today.
i woke up at twelve and i had a plate of curry bee hoon.
but i vomited out after eating.
stomach wasn't feeling very well.
the curry was way too spicy for me.
and then darling and i was so bored.
suddenly i said i wanna go escape theme park.
so we hurried and we headed there.
we didn't spend much time there.
about two hours plus.
we paid sixteen bucks just for two hours.
but then,
we have two free adult tickets. hahaha.
and then we headed for sakae sushi.
damn it. that's where i ate so much.
after dinner, we played pool with friends.
after playing for more than an hour,
we headed home.
wanted to nap. but i heard something.
"ling ling ling"
THE ICE CREAM MAN !!
i pushed darling and rushed down to get ice cream.
hahahaha. its really very unlike me.
and so, i had a raspberry ripple ice cream.
then we went to mama shop buy cigg.
fuck the ah nei auntie please.
she wanted my ic.
for god's sake, who would bring ic down to buy ice cream?
she insisted on seeing my ic.
and she said i look like sixteen years old.
what the hell. i was like "ahh forget it. cb"
then i was so pissed i went back home.
finished up my ice cream and took my ic down.
she didn't believe im ninteen please.
so in the end i bought the ciggs.
went to the playground with dar to play the swing.
swing swing swing. all the way up there.
okay. so after fagging, we wen back home.
and we had two glasses of vodka lime.
i seriously think i had a lot of things today.
im quite depressed actually. im so fucking fat.
anyway, i've cut down on sugar-ed drinks.
means no more coke for me.
i've been drinking plain water the whole day for a couple of days alr.
im trying to achieve my ideal weight.
thirty eight kg will do.
i wouldn't ask for more.
dear god, let alyssa lose a lil weight.
and she wouldn't complain anymore.
she'll live her life to the fullest.
and blah blah blah.
amen.
hahahaha. damn.
alyssa's dumb. who cares.

baby, do you adore me?
do you adore me?
so you adore me?
well. i adore you.
much for than anything in the world.

Jelly tots

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

what if someone holds your hand?
do you think she likes you?
what if someone touches your face when you lie next to her?
do you think she wants you?
what if someone applies lip balm in front of you?
do you think she wants you to taste her lips?
okays. im being random again.
fucking backbone damn painful.
please massage it for me.

baby, hold my hands once again.
hold me in your arms once again.
kiss me on the lips once again.
i need you here with me once again.

Jelly tots

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

had a haircut this morning.
then met darling to get some groceries.
headed home to bathe again.
went to parkway's jack's for dinner with vincent, kim and dar.
wah. their service sucks like hell.
we ordered a lot.
one dozen escargots.
one pan of lobster and crab stuffed mushrooms.
one pan of deep fried wanton.
one garlic steak (for me).
one mixed grill (for vince).
two steak and catfish (for dar and kim).
one carafe of fresh honeydew juice.
and one glass of shirley temple (for dar).
then there was this server.
she tried to carry four hot plates.
and i was being nice to even ask if she can carry.
she said yes.
the next moment, we all got a shock.
cos we heard her dropping those hot plates.
damn fucking loud.
so the total bill came up to 102 bucks.
we were supposed to be entitled to fifty percent off.
but vincent's manager card expired alr.
so we ended up paying everything.
and then we headed to town.
went orchard library.
the cafe gelilee for cocoa mocha.
after reading some comics, we went heeren.
omg. i tell you people.
i'll seriously die if nobody invented tampons.
its really comfortable.
i wonder why people uses sanitary pads when tampons are so fucking comfortable.
and so, you people should try using tampons.
i swear you'll love it.
and find pads very unhygenic.
ohh. and i got burnt by cigg when i was fagging.
i dropped the fag and was fucking all the way.
fucking painful.
and i heard that i got to go to school.
yvvy and i intend to wear home clothes.
shall not care if we get caught or what.
we dont care. hahahaha.
okays. i think i typed a lil too much.
gonna stop here. and off to bed.
need to get some rest or else i wouldn't be able to wake up.

baby, you know i miss you a lot.
if i could have a wish,
i'd want to spend another night with you.

Jelly tots

Monday, September 3, 2007

my backbone hurts. its fucking painful.
can't even sit or stand properly.
i had panadols to kill the pain.
but it doesn't help. wanted to kill myself.
im too tired to finish up this entry.
will do it some other time when i feel like it.

Jelly tots